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Remembering our cat Bobby and dealing with grief.

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This is the most difficult blog post I have ever written and I have been putting it off as it still feels very raw. On the 2nd of September our beloved cat Bobby died from severe seizures. She was 17 years old and this month (October) we were going to celebrate her adoption day with us.

In the last two years during the pandemic, she suffered several health issues. She was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, which is quite common in older cats and leads to restlessness and rapid weight loss. Then she also had another bout of Pancreatitis.  We had her on thyroid meds and she did well and it was easy to give her the medication too as it was in liquid form. She also lost two teeth which needed to be extracted. Bobby was still a very happy and content little cat who loved to sun herself in the front garden, in our neighbour’s garden and in our back garden. She also still enjoyed short walks in the neighbourhood. 

Bobby as a kitten
Bobby as a kitten.

Bobby’s health got worse in the summer.

However, in July, when my husband was on a short holiday in Poland, Bobby suffered a mild seizure and our vet put her on blood pressure medication. That was a warning sign, that something was not quite right, but she responded well to the meds and we were hopeful. However, she slept more than usual and hid mostly under our bed on my side.

Then on the 2nd of September when I came home from work I found her upstairs, looking unstable and lost. She had saliva hanging off of her mouth and her pupils were wide open. I am not sure if she was able recognise me or hear my voice. She was very unsteady and confused and kept looking behind her. At that point she must have suffered already the first of many seizures. I called our vet and my husband. At our vet’s, his colleague told us that this could be something more sinister and therefore she would check her over on the following Monday. In the meantime, they advised us to either monitor her behaviour at home or go to the emergency vet for observation. Sadly, she deteriorated very fast at home and it was the most horrendous thing I have ever witnessed. She was growling and howling and kept looking behind her and salivated. Eventually she had another seizure and we took her to the emergency vet. They told us to go home and they would keep her in for observation. As soon as we were back home the vet rang us to tell us that they couldn’t do anything for her and that the kindest thing to do was to put her to sleep.

Bobby as a kitten being cuddly - copyright Helen White
Bobby as a kitten being cuddly – copyright Helen White

Saying goodbye to Bobby was the hardest thing we had to do.

This was devastating news. We were not really prepared for this. We would have preferred that our own vet Michael from Cardiff Cat Clinic would have her to sleep when the day comes, as he knew her since we had her. But it was obvious that we couldn’t wait until Monday.

At the emergency vet’s we were given a few minutes to say goodbye to her. She looked exhausted and already lifeless as she was sedated. We cuddled her paws which were ice cold, her soft ears and kissed her goodbye. I don’t know, if she was able to hear us or feel our touch.

copyright Helen White
copyright Helen White

Saying goodbye to our Bobby was the hardest thing we ever had to do. We took her home as we didn’t want to just leave her there. We put her in her old tatty basket and on the Sunday, we had her cremated at a pet crematorium. We chose a lovely curled up cat shaped urn for her ashes which is now sitting on our fireplace. She loved sitting in front of it when the fire was on. And we both stroke it when we feel like it – which is quite often. Her food bowls are still in the same spot, her water bowl upstairs is still topped up with water. We have given our opened cat food and the meds to our vet who passed them on to Catwel, which is a local cat rescue charity in Cardiff. We also gave him two photos of Bobby for his memory wall. He was very fond of her too. At the crematorium Paul snipped off a bit of Bobby’s fur, which I want to use for a silver locket.

Bobby with her paw resting on my leg
Bobby with her paw resting on my leg. This was taken this year (2022)
Copyright Helen White

My colleagues at work were very understanding and sorry for our loss. One of my colleagues only recently lost her very young cat Milo, practically a kitten, in a car accident. The driver was rather ruthless and it was very traumatic for her and her boyfriend. And so, we share our grief and cat stories in the office.

Keeping Bobby’s memory alive.

Bobby was a very special cat.  I have written many blog posts about her. I have also written an article about our walks with Bobby in the local forest for German cat magazine “Geliebte Katze”.

Bobby and me
Bobby and me in the local forest

She never killed a bird or rodent; she was very good natured and affectionate and very focussed on us. She was our rock and fur daughter.  She was also the inspiration for my jewellery and art business. We miss her terribly.

Taken earlier this year in 2022
Taken earlier this year (2022).

The house is so empty without her and it is so quiet. We miss her voice, her chirruping, all the cute things she did and her smell. We miss our cuddles with her at night when she would hop on the bed for a long cuddle session. I miss being interrupted several times to feed or cuddle her. I miss looking at her while she sleeps or when she does something cute. I miss her adorable fur face. A lot of people in the neighbourhood knew her and admired her beauty. Bobby was and is a very unique cat and she is irreplaceable.

It will take months to adjust to a new life without our beautiful cat.

The last photo of Bobby
My last photo of Bobby – copyright Helen White

We both have agreed though that we can’t live without a furry in our life and are hoping to adopt either two kittens (siblings) or a mum and a kitten in the future. Until then we are cherishing our memories of our cat Bobby and also prepare our home for new arrivals. Though Bobby never attempted to venture out of our garden, I want to make sure it’s a safe haven for future cats, so they don’t roam and get killed.

Thank you for reading.

Helen x


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